It was very exciting to find out that we were going to have a baby, and we had the whole ten-hour car ride home from Chicago to think and talk about it, but I have to say that we had been planning the pregnancy for so long that it just felt pretty normal. In fact, Jeff wanted to talk about sports more than he did about the baby. I just wanted to talk about baby names, but the pregnancy didn't really have anything to do with that, because we've been talking about baby names since about two weeks into our relationship (and in those five years, we have yet to find a boy's name that we both like).
What I did have to start thinking seriously about was how long to wait until we shared our big news and how exactly we would go about doing that. One of the reasons we decided to get pregnant when we did (in addition to having an early August birth, which would give Jeff most of the summer to work and earn money, but still have a little bit of time before the start of school to spend with the newborn baby, as well as the hope that the baby would be born on my beloved grandmother's birthday, which would make it a Leo, and would mean that we wouldn't have to worry about nasty weather when speeding to the hospital, AND the fact that I could get by for the majority of my big-belly pregnancy in flowy/stretchy summer dresses without buying hideous and expensive maternity clothes) was that we were going home for Christmas in about a month and could tell the whole family in person that I was pregnant.
It was very important to me to tell my mother this news in person, because there was no way in the world that I was going to miss seeing the priceless look on her face. I also really wanted her to be the first person to find out, because she has wanted a grandchild so badly for so long (pretty much from the day she gave birth to me). However, this did not work for a variety of reasons. First of all, I'm pretty sure all my cousins in Chicago knew I was pregnant even before I technically knew. Secondly, it worked out that I spent my first night back in Seattle at my dad's house and I couldn't keep such exciting news to myself (I'm weak).
There's another fold in the story, because not long after Jeff and I got the great news about the pregnancy, I got the horrible news that my mother had cancer. God, this filled me with so many mixed emotions (which I won't go into here) and I was terrified that, instead of being deliriously happy about her soon-to-be grandchild, my mom would just be depressed at the idea of not having an eternity to spend with this child. I really wanted to spread the happy news, not the bittersweet news. But at the same time, I knew that the prospect of a new baby would strengthen her resolve to get better and would give the whole family something to look forward to (no pressure, pitseleh).
I'm going to fast forward to when we told everybody, which means that I'm skipping over our first OB/GYN appointment and the beginning of the first trimester (and all the loveliness that it entails), because that's what this post is mostly about. So, even though - technically - my doctor's office and the whole lobby of our regular brunch cafe knew that I was pregnant before we got home to Seattle - I'm going to say that my dad, step-mom and sister were the first to hear the big news.
As excited as I was to spill the beans, I played it cool when they all picked me up at the airport and I even stayed mum for most of the evening at my dad's apartment. It was a special night at Chez Weiser, because it was Hannukah and my dad had both my sister and me there to celebrate with him (a rare and special occurrence). My dad has lead the Hannukah service in exactly the same way since we were little kids, so I knew exactly when I would have a good opportunity to tell them about the baby. My dad always, always says, "Traditionally, the youngest child gets to read the story of Hannukah, so Rebecca, would you like to read?" Now, I don't quite remember whether I said it right at this point or, more politely, after my sister finished reading the story (which is written on a children's greeting card with mice as the Maccabees), but I said, "Well, technically, Becca isn't the youngest child anymore, because I'm going to have a baby!" I don't know if my sister was more excited about the baby news or about not having to be the one to read that Hannukah story year after year (I kid), but she and my step-mother leaped up from the dining table and cried and hugged me, etc. My father, however, barely moved a muscle and just sat and stared and turned as white as his hair. Yikes. But after what was probably realistically only a minute, he said that he was very surprised and very happy. Phew.
My sister really wanted to be present when I told my mom, but that would have meant keeping the news to myself for a couple more days and I just.couldn't.do.it. Well, more precisely, it wouldn't have been possible to keep the news from my mom, because she could have read it all over my face after seeing me for a grand total of five minutes. Hell, I'm surprised she didn't call me the day after Jeff and I got the positive test result and say, "I just have a funny feeling that you're pregnant. Are you?" So, anyway, after I took the ferry from Seattle to Bainbridge Island and my uncle picked me and my giant suitcase up and drove to my mom's apartment, I chit-chatted with them for a little bit (to throw my mom off the scent) and then told her that I had brought along an early Christmas present for her. It was an ornament of Mrs. Claus (the only vaguely grandma-ish figure I could find) with a stocking full of presents (for her beloved grandchild, of course!) and across the top, I had the ornament company write "Grand-Kèrr," which is what my mother had (jokingly) said that she wanted to be referred to by her grandchildren. She opened the box and immediately burst into tears. My uncle got really worried and said, "Why is she crying? What did you give her?" And I said, "She's crying, because she's going to be a grandmother!" And I pointed out the "Grand-Kèrr" on the ornament and explained the story to my uncle and then my mother said, "Oh, I didn't even see that part!" It turns out that she didn't have her glasses on and could barely see the ornament, let alone the writing, and she was just crying because she knew that whatever it was that she was holding meant that I was pregnant. I told you she was like this.
Image courtesy of Christmas Ornament Shop
Jeff was much better at keeping the big news under wraps and didn't tell his parents or sister until the whole family was gathered together in Port Ludlow after Christmas. But that was his choice, because he said that all he'd ever wanted to do was to stand up at a large family gathering, clink his glass, and announce that he was going to be a father. So he waited until we all sat down for dinner (the whole Marshall family: Jeff's parents, sister, grandma, aunts, uncle, cousins galore) and then he made the announcement, but he didn't stand-up and I don't remember whether he clinked his glass! There was so much family, that we had to pull up an extra little table to the main dining table, and we sat there with Jeff's cousin Scott and his girlfriend Sarah, who is about to have a baby (any second now!). Scott and Sarah joked that there soon-to-be son Noah would be all alone at the kid's table next year, and Jeff said that, no, actually, Noah would have a little cousin, not too much younger than he, to keep him company. Everyone was so excited and Jeff's dad even cried a little bit!
Okay, this post is getting a bit long, so I'll just gloss over the telling-of-the-friends and say that it was all very, very fun and it was kinda a buzzkill to run out of people to tell.
OH! And I have to mention the fact the everyone - EVERYONE - is just assuming that it's going to be a boy.
